confession time

I feel like I need to be a little honest here.  If not just to my readers, to myself.  I've always felt that I'm quick to make excuses for quitting many endeavors before reaching my goal.  I know it's a personality fault and I really am unsure how to fix this.

This issue has been plaguing me for as long as I can remember.  For example, I quit the viola one year after starting to play it in third grade.  The following year I decided to play the trumpet... and quickly quit that mid year.  I think I also quit the mile run of the Presidential Physical Fitness test half way through on a yearly basis until middle school. HAHA.  Does anyone remember that stupid test?  I couldn't do pull ups/flex arm hang, either!!!  Always got National...

Anyway, I set these really ambitious and lofty goals and then find about 100 excuses (on average) as to why I am unable to fully accomplish these goals.  The one major exception here is of course graduating college. 

I just decided that running a half marathon on Memorial Day weekend does not appeal to me so have decided to go to LA with Gail to visit Libby instead. [INSERT HERE: you nodding your head in disappointment and making noises that resemble gasps and mumbles like "jillian michelle"] However, my crappy excuses are as follows:

• At $179 total round trip (and nonstop!) I'd be crazy to pass it up
  
• No one will really be around Memorial Day weekend in Boston
  
• LA with two friends is more fun then running 13.1 miles
  
• I'm running 10 mi on May 3rd - what's the difference, really?
  
• I can run a half marathon pretty much whenever, there are always some to choose from
  
• I don't feel adequately prepared, my training has regressed a bit
  
• I'm getting my wisdom teeth out the weekend beforehand
  

Unfortunately, there really is no excuse other than that I got lazy about keeping on top of the training schedule because I probably partied a little too hard in the last month.

UGH.  If you ever worry about me being nonchalant or indifferent, you can rest assure that I get really down on myself all the time for all my underachievement.  Which... I'm pretty sure just makes things worse.

So... plan of action for the next couple weeks.  Getting healthier by eating right (no more eating out), drinking more water (and less booze for sure) and getting my selfish 8 hours of sleep I love so much.  Also need to make sure I'm putting in my "short" runs, even if they seem trivial - they help!!!  Will also buy new trainers - I have logged enough miles on my shoes I blogged about many moons ago.

I leave you with my all-time favorite poem that will most likely remind you of me!

Sick
by Shel Silverstein

"I cannot go to school today,"

Said little Peggy Ann McKay.

"I have the measles and the mumps,

A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,

I'm going blind in my right eye.

My tonsils are as big as rocks,

I've counted sixteen chicken pox

And there's one more--that's seventeen,

And don't you think my face looks green?

My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--

It might be instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,

I'm sure that my left leg is broke--

My hip hurts when I move my chin,

My belly button's caving in,

My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,

My 'pendix pains each time it rains.

My nose is cold, my toes are numb.

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,

I hardly whisper when I speak.

My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,

My temperature is one-o-eight.

My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There is a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?

What's that? What's that you say?

You say today is. . .Saturday?

G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

....haha!  To this day... love this poem.  

For me, it's a never ending battle trying to learn that sometimes you need to sacrifice "the fun" to do something extraordinary.